yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
