We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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