If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
