Whod you bang
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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