this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
wow bdsm is so cute
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize