omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
