Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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