I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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