My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize