So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
