if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
