This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Can I color on your dick again?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
