i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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