You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
