dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.