i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds