Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag