How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.