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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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• (650): View more from California

  just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.

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• (914): View more from New York

  My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (352): View more from Florida

  im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition

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• (914): View more from New York

  I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (518): View more from New York

  I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  i believe in u and ur pee

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