Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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