Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
