If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This is the high leading the old right now
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
