Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
organizing the empties. That sober.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
