i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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