He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
