I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
