Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
