Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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