I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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