TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize