someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
