worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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