I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
