hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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