found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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