I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
