How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
