I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize