D3 body, D1 cock
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
