OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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