i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
