no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize