i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
