I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
