biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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