Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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