Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
