So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
