would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
