so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
