Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
