C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We talked him into tasing himself.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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