singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this just has baby written all over it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
