it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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