Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
