Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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