butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
