Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
