She is in my trunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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