I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
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I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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