Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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