Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
