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dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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