Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
