I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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