i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
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We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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