I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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