Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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