i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
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Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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