I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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