Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
