I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
