Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ladies don't puke and tell
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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